Letting go of things we never did

A couple of days ago, when Alexander and I drove home from school, I told him about something silly that happened in my childhood.  I don't exactly remember what it was I told him, but what warmed my heart and excited me, was that he was paying attention and understanding what I was saying.  It's hard to explain - but although Alexander understands the meaning of a lot of words, it is still hard for him to get meaning from words that are put together to tell a story.  So the fact that he was listening, smiling, and waiting for the punchline made me think that just maybe he would be ready for me to read non-picture books for him.

I knew Harry Potter (although it's an amazing series) would be too difficult to understand, but I thought maybe the first book from Little House on the Prairie would be simple enough.  I also figured since it has stories about kids, animals, scary wolves and such, that he might find it interesting.

So off to the Kindle store I went, and I got the first book of the series.  At bedtime we cuddled up, and got ready to read.  I read the first page, and quickly found I had to "translate" it into smaller concepts that he might grasp.  By the 3rd and 4th page, there was no question that he was not able to follow along with the story, but I finished the chapter - having a hard time giving up hope that it would work.  We had a cuddle after this, and he asked if next time we could read a book with pictures in it.

Although not disappointed in Alexander at all, for some reason it was very hard for me to let go of this.  I love reading, and as a mom I have always looked forward to when I could read kids novels for Alexander.  At this rate, by the time he can understand the story, he'll be able to read it by himself.

Today I have new resolve to "get over myself", and I'm trying to let it go.  I will try again when he's 8 1/2, and when he is 9 if needed.  I still do selfishly hope that some day we can read kids books like Harry Potter or any Roald Dahl book together, but for now, we will continue to enjoy the crazy world of Robert Munsch,  all the creatures in "The Napping House", and empathize with friendly sharks who scare away would-be friends.